Friday, July 22, 2011

Day 20: What's Wrong With Me?

FYI: This post is going to be really lame and basically I need to put my Big Girl pants on.............but they're in the wash apparently!

1) Everyone is pissing me off! I can't stand it. Everything that anyone does is pissing me off! My grandma irritates me so bad. I know it's mean and all but seriously I can't stand living with her! Currently she has the tv on the wrong channel so the tv signal isn't coming in. She does this all the time AND I'M DONE FIXING IT! I'm not going to fix it another damn time. It's so aggravating.

2) I'm done with everyone rubbing their boyfriend in my face. Especially one named Emily (no I'm not jealous ) Because sweetheart up untill minutes before you started dating your boyfriend, he still wanted me. He still LOVED me. Your just the girl he's with 'cause he's not up here with me. But he proved his true colors and I don't want him. So stop tagging me in the photos of you two on facebook.

3) I can't focus on my school work. I can't do this. My mind is totally screwed up right now.I can't focus on anything anymore. My aunt's pissed off I can't go on a trip with her. I have band and I have to be there.


My mind is sooooooo far from home. It should really come home!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Day 19: A Little Bit Of Everything.................It makes me ME! So............GET USE TO IT!

I've been telling a few close friends this.......bit......of my past. So Lets go back to September 20th 2009. (yeah I hate this day). Jake and I started dating (ended march 14th 2011). Well that relationship got VERY controlling, he was also verbally abusive. Yeah It's harsh using that A word, but it's the word to use. I've looked into it a lot. It fits, so if the shoe fits................WEAR IT. It turned a bit physical. We'd hold hands he'd squeeze my hand cause he got mad at something I said. or grab my wrist a lot.

I'm starting a new Idea.................................................ADVICE blog??? Haha or website/email?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Day 18: Getting back into the past

I know I haven't blogged in a LONG time. I was at Kaylyns (who, btw, is like my sister for life). Plowing trees, falling for a guy, getting my heart BROKEN again. (Caleb G.).

Life has gotten crazy THAT'S for sure I've fallen in love with cameron c AGAIN this is like the third time. He just wants fooling around and that's NOT what I want. I don't and I won't be doing that. I've had my heart shattered one to many times. It's been falling apart.



I feel



empty



alone



helpless



sad



lost



confused



dead

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Day 17: I hate you............but I love you!

(So Brody if you reading this.............YOUR A FREAKING STALKER! That and your a fast reader! Haha! )

Today got off to a rather slow start. I mean dragging my tired ass out of bed to go to a class to think? Like wtf! It's summer vacation I have homework as is AND I'M GOING TO SCHOOL? Well it was just a boater safety class. I mean hunter safety was fun and all. The best part is gutting the deer! (channeling my inner psycho killer: playing with the guts is fun! they so squishy!) It was 2 days for 9 hours each day.
I had to sit in the front. The sheriff (further interesting me as a police officer, imagine that me+gun+you=?) had me do all his stuff. Pass out test and pencils for the f tards who didn't read the sheet that they needed to bring one(that's a pet peeve). Learned all the crap and then took the test. I totally aced it. I just now have to get it laminated. I have to have it on me while riding a jet ski. like where the heck am I going to put it? I'm in a wet suit with  a life jacket on (It's the law and I love throwing myself off it at ridiculous speeds!). So I need to find a spot to keep it while I'm driving! grr!

So I came home and I listened to Alyssa Lies. I was bawling within seconds. Matter of fact that's what I'm doing right now. How could you hurt your child like that? C'mon people! Seriously! It takes two to make a child. Sex isn't just for pleasure and crap. I mean it's for procreation not recreation. This generation is forgetting that with all the porno and crap out there. Your basically signing up to love that child until the second you stop breathing. No matter what crap they get into. You got to teach them right from wrong the RIGHT way. How could you do that? Their helpless!

That furthers my dream to be a foster mom XD I love that Idea! By the huge house down the road turn it into a creep looking house much like the Aadams family house! I'll make the inside all cozy and crap. But I really need to worry where I'm going to get the 1.5 million dollars to buy it. I'd also have to evict all the people in there (it's turned into an apartment). I'm going to do it!

Well Emily, yes the girl who stole the guy I liked, has been chatting with me via facebook. I mean when you live so far away and I don't like her enough to text her, it's the best way to chat. Well me and one of her friend (along with her) were totally spamming her status. Anyways she's elmo for her creepy perverted-ness in an innocent way, he's barney for secretly snorting crack, and i'm piglet for BEING TO NICE wtf! I'm not nice at all. They truly don't understand all the secret insults I sneak to them. I'm the queen bee in life.  But I mean she's cooler than I thought she was. It doesn't change my view on her  or him. He's still not talking to me so I only have on thing for him *Flips him the bird*.  I agreed to meet up with 'em when I go to Florida next, whenever that is.

So either way this goes...........................................my life is f'd up, and apparently not just my love life.
Oh and Edward I HATE YOU <3 (inside thing, basically code word for he's my brother for life)


$!DN3Y

Friday, July 8, 2011

Day 16: Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM

"So Brody+I had the ingenious idea to see who could stay up the longest. Well there's no actual proof of it, just honesty. So I've been up 28 hours! Man am I exhausted. He's offline so I bet the butt when to sleep. I would XD I've played the game honestly so far (: I almost fell asleep in the shower but I woke myself up! ('Cause I'm JUST that awesome!) well he caved at 5 pm my time"

So that's my HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER version of my life, aka, where the title came from. Because let me remind you THEIRS A 14 HOUR DIFFERENCE! So this plan was conceived at like 3 am! Okay so he didn't fall asleep........BUMMER!

Kaylyn and I are becoming really close! I can't wait to spend the week with her! She's like my other half!

pure exhaustion is how i feel. Trying to do this bet was the stupidest thing i ever did. Ha ha well i had fun. not I'm feeling the drawback! THEY SUCK

  It's clear the orthodontist  hates my guts. So I go in to his office today. He puts me in the chair all good. They take the bands of open, bite together whole 9 yards. Then he takes off my two front teeth brackets (he re did them the previous appointment because of a failed attempt to bring my tooth in). He then tells me hes taking of all the bottom ones and RETAINERS. After gluing them on he decides the bottoms are staying in and we are tightening them. We hadn't done ANYTHING to them in 6 months, why all of a sudden? Now my whole mouth aches!


Being up for 35 hours is tiring i'm going to get something to eat and then to a early bed for me!

$!DN3Y

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Day 15: PEN PAL!

So that's what I really did today. Time flew! I talked with Courtney and this new pen pal Brody from Australia as well! So I've been a social butterfly! Courtney and I had a epic poke war involving her brother Jarrod! IT was hilarious! They found an Aussie flag and were playing with it! We talked about our boy troubles mainly mine with Tyler and em. (hes refusing to talk to me now). And she is BATMAN!

as far as Brody goes: we talk a lot (: crazy fun although his sisters remind me of myself at age 8. FIGHTERS! I remember beating Nathan up when he was 16! I was so mean to him! OH well we both grew up from that age! Now we barely talk and it isn't cool!

Kaylyn: she lives in town and we've actually bonding over a break up! She's GREAT! She's a lot like me! She's going to teach me to ride a 4 wheeler and mud fights! I'm spending most of next week with her......which means CRAP I can't blog! I MUST BLOG! I guess I'll do it the old fashion way and write it by hand and post it when I get home. I'll also be missing two drumline practices! Oh well their un-productive anyways!

nite!!!
$!DN3Y

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Day 14: My love life just threw up on me.

My life royally sucks right now.

1) Tyler- He's getting serious with Emily. He won't say "I love you" to me anymore, matter-of-fact he's blown me off ALL day today. She's nice but GOSH I don't like it.

2) Lucas- His friend lied to him about his girlfriend breaking up with him. I guess I was going to be the rebound girl? So now he's back with his girlfriend. He invited me to a church camping trip so let's see how that goes.

3) Jerome- He's PERMINATLY gay. Their's no changing that. He needs a cover up though. I'd kill for him, he's the only one though. So I'll play along, but he want's to make it facebook official. I'm worried about that however.

I've manage to loose all my guys in a matter of days.

I keep giving out relationship advice, but I can't seem to take it and find a GOOD guy. I feel like crap.

Wish me luck with my W.W weigh in. I think it'll be a good week I've been downing water. However lately I've been bloating and reataing water (due to mother nature) ttfn
$!DN3Y

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Day 13: And The Player Gets Played

As you know I have three guys in my life. I'm not cheating, I'm not dating, I'm not kiss ANY OF THEM. Now it's bitten me in the ass REAL good. Tyler has a new girl. We are no longer flirt buddies. He's known her for a few weeks. I've been stabbed in the heart. I gave him a tip on how to impress Emily, the girl. I told him to get her the Vampire perfume.  Which will REALLY impress her but now I'm extremely jealous. Which isn't good! I'm so happy for him and I'm so STUPID for ever thinking I had a REAL chance with him. I guess It's my karma for leading three guys on. I feel like crying, I'd cry over the three guys. IT was Unavoidable for Tyler and I though. He would have came to Michigan and we would have TRULY dated gotten really close and when it was time for him to leave we would have stayed together. Then we would have meet someone else and faded apart. Loosing him as a friend scares me more than anything.  I really wish him the best. I think I'm going to have close guy friends ONLY.

Lucas: We talked a little today (: He's my innocent guy although Jake M. says he smokes pot. I'm not getting involved with that side of things. It is as it is. I'm not going to be around it and I'm not going to try and change it. I think he'd be good for me. Would I like to date him, possibly. I'd need to get to know him better. I think he is defiantly cute! I sorta had a crush on him while I was dating Jake. So it is what it is.  He's very sweet but it bugs me he calls me beautifal not beautiful. It bugs me VERY much.

Jerome: He's like my brother and he knows that. He's gay and he knows it. He wants to date me though. He want to make himself want me. I only think that he will be like my gay brother! I don't know whether he and I will ever be anything more.  It's sad because yes our closeness is very good! It just isn't there! That's unfortunate. I did like him in 7th grade and he liked me in 9th. He dated SAM and Marian and I don't like that AT ALL but we make mistakes as well.

Josh: I've tried telling him off so many times, he just DOESN'T get it!


Goodnight! (:
$!DN3Y

Monday, July 4, 2011

Day 12: Pug Challenge Day 1!

I super cleaned my room today! My dad approved this as day one on my 365 day challenge! (It's a leap year this coming year) So If I keep my room the way it is for a whole year AND get all A's, I'll be getting myself a pug!

Boy Drama

Lucas- We have a date next weekend to his church youth group thing. I'm not quite cool with the church thing. He SWEARS it's more fun than about "god" and they pray a little but mainly fun. I can tolerate the small prayer session. I hate the ideas of churches. I mainly believe in magic, dark magic that is. I don't know how well this will go over. Churches make me itch! He seems really nice, but honestly rather desperate. I mean he hasn't spoken to me in over a year and a half. When he did talk to me it was brief because I was around my boyfriend at the time, Jake S, and they were playing softball. Today he told me he wanted to kiss me. He says he's going to call, but he hasn't yet. He lives in Dryden, so it'd be a long distance relationship. IT could be a further long distance thing but a 30 minute drive isn't that bad. I could go to more dances!

Jerome- We agreed to go on a date. Although he's sort of bi! I mean I have nothing wrong with that! However he dated Sam, one of my at the time close friends. I don't know how well we'd go together, but I'll give it a try. I mean I've giving him TONS of relationship advice and vice versa. I just don't know if I can get over the friendship we have. I also worry that it may ruin our friendship if it doesn't work out. That's why I hate dating, you always loose them! I don't want to loose Jerome. He's like my brother! I can't hurt him either! I just don't know!

Josh- I think I've told him off rather well! He and Ann dated and now he's trying to hit on me. He's disgusting and I wouldn't date him if he was the last person on the face of the earth.

Jake M- I think he's gotten the hint that I don't like him, I did talk to him about Lucas and I when I first added Lucas on Facebook.

Texas- Ah my love <3 Well he's doing amazing AS MY BOYFRIEND! Well it's an open relationship so I'm not cheating. I could never cheat in the first place. The way I see he's my top dog! We talked on the phone for 58 minutes, no not an hour! Ha ha we are such dorks! His sister Lauren who's 7 is pretty killer! She's so Funny! We have 2 dates. One when he comes up in the winter time (movies), or when my sweet 16 is. Another is next summer to Michigan Adventures or Cedar Point!

Well this is enough drama to tire a girl out! So it's time for bed! Good night!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day 11: My life is spinning!

Well today we had a Fourth of July party at Brenda's. Not very many people came. DJ is getting married on the 5th! He's WAY to young! I stuck around with Harley and made sure she was okay swimming, er well splashing! Yummy food like always (:

Well Jerome and I agreed to go on a date, more details on THAT as I find out.(Who asked me to marry him as a joke of course!)
Lucas and I agreed to meet up sometime next week, more details on THAT to come!
Tyler and I agreed to TWO  dates when he comes up to Michigan, oh I'll definitely dish on THAT one.
Jake M. likes me but I don't like him not details on THAT one.

I'm sorry today's post was LAME SAUCE aka sauce that is lame. I was busy all day and now i'm drained of all energy!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Day 10: What Really Matters?

I wish my parents meant when they said they were trying to quit smoking. I've heard this promise so many times and they NEVER even try. I understand it is hard, but there is a big difference! It just really lets me down and makes me sad. I can't believe  them about anything. It makes me loose hope in EVERYTHING.

Way 999 to get your parents to buy you a pug:
Have them bet you that you can't get all A's for the whole school year AND keep your room clean for the WHOLE year.  Yup my dad and I have a deal if I do all of that he will buy me a PUG! I'm DEFIANTLY going to take advantage of this deal. I'm going to potty train it VERY well. I'll have it sleep in my bed with me! I want a blond pure breed male, from a rescue or pound, preferably a baby!

I wish people wouldn't judge to harshly on teen moms. Their several different types of teen moms. 1) I sleep around moms 2) I want to be on 16 and pregnant 3) Rape 4) accident but I'm stepping up to the plate.

1) Sleep around moms- these are the worst. These are also the most common! Often they try and pass themselves off as I'm stepping up to the plate, but their child is often raised as a sibling NOT a child.
2) I want to be on 16 and pregnant- THIS IS THE WORST REASON! To be one of the thousand teen moms JUST to be on a TV show. That child is doomed. You should try and go to acting conventions and things.
3) Rape- The saddest! I honor their choice to have the child. This is the best reason to have a child raised as a sibling. It wasn't their choice. These will be the strong girls who WILL be a good mom.
4) Accident but I'm Stepping up to the plate- They get the worst rap and are going to finish school and raise that child right!

My friend was not thinking one night. She had sex, she got pregnant. The baby daddy doesn't know and it's better off for him. That child needs a good father and not a run away father.Everyone keeps yelling at her and all she needs is support and people who care! It's going to be hard to raise a child at 17! She need love and support. I may not like that she is pregnant. However the fact of the matter is I love her I lover her child to be and I won't leave them. I will help her until the end!

I LOVE YOU GRACELYNN!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Day 9: A Never Ending Birthday Wish!

Well as you know I went to Courtney's birthday party! It was killer! Courtney's sister (Ashley) and I made a sign 'Honk it's Courtney's Sweet 16' and hung it outside! We played with water balloons. We went to meijer and then McDonald's where we honked at a truck full of boys! <3 They honked back and we were screaming down the road driving next to each other!  It was GREAT. Then we went to Walmart where two boys were following us! It was VERY creepy! When we got home we played Glee Karaoke volume one and two! I didn't go to bed till well after 3!

Today I went to Kohl's and learned you can fit 10 pillows in their carts! The crackle from sally's sucks! You do NOT want china glaze crackle you want Sally Hanson or Henson or some H last name Crackle, which I got from Kmart! Then I went home to my aunts and we made Buffalo burgers (: Very yummy! And Ice Cream using frozen fruit! Oh yummy! I tried spaghetti squash, it's very yummy!

More news on Tyler! Guess who's dating him now! Oh yes Me (: Ha ha! It's like an open relationship, but I doubt it'll be that way for long! Gosh I'm so happy!

Todd came up from Fort Knox, we still don't know when he's coming home. We are making Chris' yummy spaghetti1 It's my John's birthday tomorrow, so we will be with him all day. On sunday we have a party at Brendas which I hope we can do!

Till then,
$!DN3Y